She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
