I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
