dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
