Your face is a jimmy john
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
