before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
