shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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