ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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