i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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