They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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