my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This baby is an asshole
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Randomize
