ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
