I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
