Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
