she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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