Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
