So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
