So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
why is half of my head shaved?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
