Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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