Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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