Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
