He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Enjoy the penises
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
