the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
