i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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