I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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