I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
