I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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