There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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