I must be too annoying 4 u.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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