Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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