Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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