I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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