Dual....:-)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
