the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
