I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
