I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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