He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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