I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
