I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
