are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
birth control should be required to get into college
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
