It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wanna go halves on a baby?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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