And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
COCAINE IS GR8
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
