I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were destined to go to rehab together
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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