shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
