hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
