My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize