I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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