break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
