well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Two words: blizzard sex
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
