Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
