you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
