I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
