Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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