I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
