dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
