just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
