I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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