I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
