bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
